ASAP

i need a new replacement. QUICK!
the current one makes me suicidal.

i feel lost

i have no idea what to do next.

this is the hardest decision ever. it might change my life for better or worse?
i need answers. i need to know whether its going to be ok or not. i need to know whether im making the right choice. is there a 'right' choice? or its just choices? what if the choice i make its not the right right one and in the end im left to deal with the 'ugly' things? what if i dont like the new company? what if i still feel miserable after everything? now its pretty ok. what if half of me wanna quit? what if i dont wanna sing along the same song? what if i just say no?

my motivation?

would love to have this meal every day!

I did it!!!

YaY!!!!!
i finally watched a movie alone! in a cinema. hahaha. ive always wanted to do that but somehow felt like 'nah...maybe some other time.......'.

ive eaten alone; loved it.

shopping alone; always a pleasure. i dont need to worry about the other person's feelings. whether they are bored or whether they hate my fashion sense. i love the way i dress. :)

now...what shall i try??......

i should have listened

im in big shit and its so freaking hard to get out of it.
i should have listened
im what i am today because of what happened
i should have listened
i want to be free but somehow im too deep in it
i should have listened
im regretting it (50/50)
i should have listened
its so hard to know the truth or tell the difference
i should have listened
i should walk away....
i should have listened

things on my mind now.

1. i cant see/look at matches. creeps me out. SERIOUSLY
2. im afraid of the elevators, if possible ill take the stairs. i used to walk up 13 floors just to get to class. was way thinner back then. hah!
3. i love cherries. fresh ones.
4. i love tom yam. yummy.
5. i love cheese but i cant take cheese cake. makes me wanna puke.
6. i like organic food
7. i love loccitane. everything!
8. im using kiehl's. from face to body products.
9. im fussy
10. if i dont like something i will show it, hence my black face.
11. i hate ppl easily, yes its a bad trait. cant help it. but when i love someone, its forever.
12. im close to my cousins.
13. i love going for facials but sadly have to cut down.
14. i love going to spas too.
15. i love having tea/coffee/seri muka kuih with friends, family
16. i love japanese food. i love the avocado salad at rakuzen.
17. i like sweet looking things.
18. i dont really know about pc stuffs.
19. im glad i made new friends.
20. i cant wear court shoes. i get blisters as soon as i wear them.
21. i love wearing slippers.
22. i love handbags.
23. i used to buy all the lesportsac bags till im broke.
24. i cry easily.
25. im pampered but not in a dumb blonde kinda way.
26. im sarcastic
27. i can be mean too.
28. im not selfish.
29. i want to have a baby.
30. im exhausted, emotionally traumatised.

The pieces dont fit anymore

sung by James Morrison.

i really love that song. keeps me calm. no idea why. the album is actually not bad. reminds me of better times when i dont have to worry about certain things. everything is much peaceful back then. i felt free.

free. freedom.

i wish for that.